Here we go. It’s text-heavy. We’ve got sugary photos because I need to look at them while I type these words.
Hey. Could that post title be any more dramatic? I don’t think that it could. I’ve been struggling to write this post for a while now. It’s not an excuse as to why things have been so quiet here. Actually. Who am I kidding? It’s totally my excuse.
People have been wondering if my instagram account has been hijacked. And I can’t blame them. Who the flip is posting all this healthy stuff?!? It’s totally not like me. My account is usually plastered with sugar & sweets & Diet Coke, so I totally get it. Things have been crazy and I’ve had to drastically change my diet over the last two weeks. Hence the healthy snacks.
To give y’all the basic rundown, I’ve been diagnosed with LADA. It’s a form of Type 1 Diabetes where I am now insulin dependent. The difference is that Type 1 usually manifests in children and teens, and not so much in peeps in their late twenties like myself. About a month ago, I noticed that my vision power (that’s a thing) was decreasing severely. It was gradual and, by the end, I couldn’t make out Vita-roo’s face if she was more than ten feet away. And you know how cute her face is, so this was tough to take. I visited my eye doc who suggested I visit my regular doc who suggested we test my blood sugar. So it was tested. And it was through the roof. More tests. And then we realized that I had almost every other diabetic symptom.
“I did this to myself! I know it!”
“All the donuts and carbs and treats have caught up with me in the worst way.”
“I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to some of my favorite cookies and donuts!” (Lookin’ at you, Keebler.)
(I really did say that. And I really did cry about it. Hi, I’m five years old.)
Those and about a million others were the thoughts racing through my mind. I cried and I cried and, quite honestly, my ego power (also a thing) took a huge plunge. As someone who was secretly thrilled by the fact that she ate junk food regularly, this was my worst nightmare. The life of Shelby from Steel Magnolias immediately played in my mind. Be glad you weren’t there for that. This all happened around National Donut Day, mind you. I mean, talk about a kick in the pants.
Fast-forward to today. After lots of blood work and other tests, I’m on the mend. It’s treatable. It’s a life-changer, yes, but I’m dealing. I begin and end the day with needles. I used to do it with Diet Coke & a candy bar, so I’m honestly surprised it’s not Type 2. I’m not grateful to have it at all, but I’m grateful to know that my poor habits aren’t what caused it. When the official Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis came, I made sure to emphasize to everyone we told that it wasn’t Type 2. That I didn’t cause it. That it started near the end of my pregnancy. I felt like I needed people to know that because, hello, I’ve been known for my sugary habits. Irony. It’s there, alright.
For about 48 hours, I wrestled with what to do with this here blog. I was afraid I should just shut it down. I’ve been so tired (worse than pregnancy, you guys!) and just kept thinking about all the treats I could no longer post! And then I realized that I need this blog. I need to write my thoughts here. And if you guys are there to support me, that’s super. If not, that’s totally fine. But I feel like we’ve got a good relationship, you and I. And I feel like I can share this with you. It’s not always bright, colorful, styled photos around here. It’s sometimes messy. Like right now. This is a HUGE change for me. HUGE. I’m still wrapping my brain around it. And I could sure use your help.
Going forward, things might be a little different. I’ve obviously had to tweak my personal habits, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop posting about all the sugary goodness that I like to make for you guys. Most of the time in the past, I’d just give away what I made. I’d like to say that I could eat donut after cake after donut, but I’m maxxing out at around 4 post-Vita. You’ll still get a healthy dose of DIY and delish, delectable treats, but you’ll also be seeing/reading a little more about the healthy lifestyle change I’m making. Mmmkay?
I don’t think I can do this alone.
I know I can’t do this alone.
I’m not sharing this information here to get you to feel sorry for me. I’m sharing it because I share a lot of my life here. And my life is changing.
To the folks that already know this, I thank you for your sweet, sweet, emails and messages. It really is amazing to be on the receiving end of such love.
To end this on a happier note, I feel like I should shout this next part at the top of my lungs. I CAN STILL HAVE DIET COKE! You don’t know what that means to me. I know that soda isn’t the best thing for a person, but if I had to give that up cold turkey, well, then, you’d have to have me committed.
Okay. Phew. That was a lot. Hope your eyes aren’t burning from all these words! Thanks for reading this. And thanks for being there.
Virtually hugging the crap out of you,
photography: all photos by The Proper Pinwheel (dive into the archives, baby!)